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A study by married dating site Ashley Madison reveals that women are leading the next generation of non-monogamy
Offering the security of a long-term relationship with the excitement of playing the field, open relationships are becoming increasingly popular. And, according to new research by married dating site Ashley Madison, women are the ones leading the charge.
The survey found that 26% of women on Ashley Madison now have some sort of non-monogamous relationship with their partner, compared to just 13% of men. 65% of the women surveyed go as far as to say they don’t believe in monogamy, with just over half (56%) of them realising this in the past year.
Christoph Kraemer, Managing Director or Ashley Madison in Europe, comments: “The pattern is usually that men are the ones to initiate the conversation about opening up the relationship, according to psychologist Dr. Tammy Nelson. While women then tend to think about it for a long time, once they have tried it, they don’t want it to stop, contrary to men who are much quicker to say that they no longer want it.”
He continues: “Women, on the other hand, realise that having different partners allows them to explore different sides of their sexuality. They are also more adept at compartmentalising their various secondary partners.”
In the study, the vast majority (82%) of respondents — both male and female — said their ideal relationship is something non-monogamous, where they have one romantic relationship with sexual activity or casual partners on the side.
Interestingly, respondents said the advantages of non-monogamy don’t just benefit individual sexuality and sexual expression. They said that non-monogamy can also be beneficial to family life and child-rearing, personal finance and the economy, as well as mental health.
More than half (52%) of the men and women surveyed agree that society would benefit from a shift toward a more open style of monogamy or non-monogamy. They said these advantages would include a lower divorce rate (60%), a growth in open-mindedness (53%), and less pressure placed on one person to fulfil all their partner’s needs (50%).
Dr Tammy Nelson, author of Open Monogamy, explains how open relationships can actually strengthen a primary partnership: “Finding ways to add more eroticism and intensity can bring energy home, into the bedroom, without threatening the primary partnership. Because it’s in the open and both partners agree on the boundaries, it can add to the relationship instead of taking away from it. Many times, it’s in the sharing of the sexual experience with others that the marriage is strengthened.”
If you’re looking to spice up your relationship, but are not ready to open it up, we’ve got you covered with the best sex games and sex toys. If you do decide to experiment with non-monogamy, know that with the right communication and boundaries, it could just take your love to the next level.